Dear John

It has been pointed out to me, while I was walking by the sea and crying over the fact that you have lost your whole life and will never see the sea again, whereas I am still here, able to see it – that…

You were alive and able to see the sea at age 52 (which I am now).

You were alive and able to see the sea at age 53.

You were alive and able to see the sea at age 54.

You were alive and able to see the sea at age 55.

You were alive and able to see the sea at age 56.

You were alive and able to see the sea at age 57.

You were alive and able to see the sea at age 58.

You were alive and able to see the sea at age 59.

You will never be 60, but since you were some seven years older than me, you have had that many more years to live and enjoy life.

So if I die at any time before I’m aged 59 and a half, you will still have had longer on the planet than me.

It seems like I have outlived you at the moment, because our starting points weren’t the same.  Our lifespans were staggered.

But you still have a chance to outlive me, while I catch up with your age.

Darling, I’m not sure I want that day to come, the day when I have lived one more day on the planet that you did.

Oh John, why did I never think through that you were older than me, that you might die first and leave me alone?

I didn’t think we were anywhere near that point.

I was taking life for granted – your life for granted.

So were you.

So this is till such a shock, John.  Such a shock.