Oh what a hole you’ve left.
Such a gap in the world, such a gaping hole in my life.
Everything is so quiet and empty without you.
Did you realise how huge your rich, warm character was? All your knowledge and humour and kindness, everything you had to say. Your presence in the house, coming in the front door, putting your keys on the stairs, hanging your coat on the banister, kissing me.
Now I’m left with all this joint familiarity around me, but only me to find it familiar any more.
Oh John, I always knew I’d miss you if you were gone, I always knew I’d grieve for you.
But your absence is intolerable. How is it to be borne?