Found Literature 2014

Snippets of conversations overheard ‘in passing’ 

(All genuine!!)

It just means I won’t be able to retire at 47 now.

She looks like a mega bitch.

It’s cos his mum left him when he was three months old.

Blood tests don’t actually tell you the whole story.

It’s got like millions of tentacles!

If she wants to saddle herself with him, that’s up to her.

I knew that a year ago!

…well you know Kate Middleton had that thing where she…

I went there yesterday and ended up completely dissatisfied.

You need to be more open with me about your deadlines.

(Furiously)  So I have spent TWO HOURS going there, coming back…

It’s all very well, but he’s got someone working for him, I haven’t got anyone.

Listen to me on this – love comes and goes…  (so take the job abroad)

Did they have him put down?

She’s going on about skiing and I’m like, I can’t even think about it.

So you want couscous AND chips?

If you want I’ll phone you every hour, on the hour.

That’s yet another one that requires careful handling.

Is there something you’re not telling me?

It’ll be about four hours before he realises we’re not there.

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