Snippets of conversations overheard ‘in passing’

(All genuine!!)

I’ve decided I’m going to wear my silver tiara for my birthday.

We’re going on the bus after we’ve had our waffle.

Then she’s an even bigger bitch than we think she is.

I’ve got spinach, I’ve got almond milk.

Is there a special place to put the cake? – My tummy? – Before that.

I forgot it was Ray’s dad who died on Christmas Eve.

It’s good for her to try new stuff.

You’re such a mouthy little git, ain’t ya?

I’m not saying you should.

It’s part of my job to check that you’re not dead.

Cos he loves a fight!

Does this mean I’m not going to be able to have a shower for two days?

I have to be a bit more forceful about getting decisions.

They’re really inspiring to be around.

I really, really want to have sex with Stephen Carlisle.

It’s not as soft as you think it’s going to be.

He likes his six months in France.

It won’t make any difference.

It’s a lot more realistic than it used to be, isn’t it?

Ten times as many!

If you plant a marigold near a tomato ….

That cannot be your default position in life.

It’s like the pace of walking down the aisle.

It’s amazing that a fudge store smells like fudge.

Are you singing today?

He goes off playing golf and treats her like a doormat.

Come on, let’s go, I’m only kidding.

I eat whatever I feel like eating – it’s my rule.

This has now become a huge problem and somebody needs to solve it.

Nobody ever picks what I suggest.

Well I thought I’d tell you cos I don’t want to hide things from you.

I’m going to buy you so much stuff.

Let’s just forget eating cos I don’t want to miss all this.

He was causing trouble, and he come unstuck, and that’s it.

Look at the way it’s dancing!

This could be anywhere in the world.

He keeps saying to me, ‘hold on Baby, please hold on.’

What do they say in Nigeria when they see you coming?