Dear John

I have this recurring image that you and I, John, were two pawns standing side by side on a chessboard.  No difference whatsoever between us.  Two unimportant minions, two footsoldiers, colleagues side by side.

Equal in our weight, our level of unfitness, our state of health.  Our intelligence, our sensitivity, our overall worth to the world.

And God, or fate, extended a hand and it hovered above us.  Moving from one to the other, undecided.

Shall I take this one?  Or that one?

Maybe this – no maybe that.

That’s how I feel John, that it was total random 50:50 chance that it was you who was plucked from existence and not me.

In fact you were more worthy to stay than me.  You were cleverer, you were kinder.  You were the better person.

So God made a mistake.

But it so could have been me.

There was no reason it should have been you.  You didn’t deserve to be taken off the chessboard of life.

Now I stand here, so alone, thinking – where’s my companion pawn who stood beside me all that while?

My equal.

Why has he gone?  Why?