Well I’ve got seriously hooked on Winter Wonderland (a giant funfair and christmas market) in London’s Hyde Park this year.

I’ve been four times.

The first time I went alone and was so aware of everyone around me being in couples and groups, I don’t think I saw one other person on their own.  So I contrived to go back a couple of times with people I didn’t know very well, which was better in a way but didn’t feel great.  (I guess what you really want is to be there with the person you loved and enjoyed the company of and who you knew so well, but that’s no longer possible.)  I went back again yesterday on my own and felt a bit better.  Clinging onto my idea that although he’s no longer here, there’s still ‘me and the world’, and why can’t I enjoy what the world has to offer even though I’m on my own.

I had another profound revelation, that I’ll have to ‘compartmentalise’ my life more now.  Whereas he, my dear life partner, covered several aspects, maybe now I’ll just have to separate things.  Not expect ‘intellectual stimulation’ along with ‘companionship’.  Find ‘humour’ in one place and ‘emotional support’ in another.

I’ve just written a page long list of all the rides and attractions I can remember at Winter Wonderland – there is so much to look at and to do.  I went on the observation tower and to the ice show, and would really have loved to go on one of the fast things, like the main roller coaster that goes upside down five times.  But I can’t judge whether I’d like it or hate it – maybe next year I’ll pluck up courage.

I listened to live music in six different places, and also drank mulled wine and ate bratwurst, spit roast chicken, sweedish meatballs, and waffles (not all on the same day!)

One feature of Winter Wonderland is my favourite – I fell in love with the giant christmas tree children’s ride, where you sit in a spherical ‘bauble’ that goes round and up and down gently.  I just loved watching the various coloured lights at night – it’s programmed to run through so many options and is just a beautiful thing.  First it’s all red lights, then flashing white, then maybe green and purple (various combinations of two colours), then it’s all blue, then twinkling yellow and pink, then every branch a different colour…  Mesmerising, and so pretty.

Those of us still on the planet should cling onto and enjoy places like this – as they are so full of LIFE.