Dear John

Trying not to think about you John, because the thought of you being gone upsets me so much.  But there you are, in my head, smiling at a joke on the telly.

Trying not to think about you John, but there you are, sitting on a steam train, looking out of the window at fields and swans.

Trying not to think about you John, but there you are, sitting opposite me in a pub, eating pepper steak, your favourite.

Trying not to think about you John, but there are so many memories, such a weight of memories, pressing down on me.

Trying not to think about you John, but not succeeding.  How can I not think of you?

…

(See also The Weight of Memories poem)